Deserts Will Bloom

Allow me to introduce to you, My Little Fleur.  Fleur(pronounced flare) is the Lingala word for flower(at least that is what my seven year old daughter told us).  When she first came home a year ago we had about a three day honeymoon period before the freak out of the century began.  Not just for her but for all of us.  She knew no English and we knew no Lingala, except for the few phrases and words her escort taught us before we left Africa.  As My Little Fleur learned English we learned many words in Lingala from her as well.  Fleur was one of them. During the middle of a major meltdown as I was holding my screaming daughter I continued to whisper in her ear, “I love you my little fleur.”  And it stuck.

To be completely honest I was telling my soul that phrase as much as I was telling her because in the beginning, loving her was hard, very hard most days.  I have begun to understand why many times David tells his soul to rejoice.  Because in those moments the last thing he wanted to do was rejoice.  I have felt that!  Thoughts cross your mind that you can’t even believe you are thinking.  Thoughts like, “What have I done?” “I ruined my family.” “This girl is going to hate us.” “My kids are going to despise us and her.” This past year our family dealt with some major junk hidden in our hearts.  Things like pride, selfishness, greed and hate.  We all lost self-control, we yelled, we slammed doors, we did things we regret. 

This year we have walked through fire and floods, all while remolding a house.  There were many moments when we questioned our decision making but we believe remodeling our house was just another extension of God’s grace.  He was allowing our hands to physically restore a home to remind us of what He was doing inside our daughter and inside each of us.  What a beautiful picture He gave us of what true restoration is. 

It starts with a mess,

goes through some ugly stages,

 

before ending with beauty.

I had a friend tell me, one day as she was driving during the winter, with her daughter in the backseat. My friend said, “I miss all the leaves on the trees, I’m ready for spring and summer again!”  To which her daughter replied, “I like the trees in the winter best.”  Surprised, my friend said, “What makes you like the trees best in the winter?  Her daughter simply said, “Because when all the leaves are gone that’s when you can see where all the bird nests are.”

I love that story for so many reasons.  One is because it’s optimism at its finest but I mostly love the symbolism of spiritual growth.  Bird nests are made to produce life, to protect, to nurture, to grow.  It’s only when all the outward adornments are stripped away, and we are bare, can the fruit of our life be seen.

This year our family was stripped bare.  We were all required to repent of our selfish pride, seek forgiveness from God and each other, and examine whether we were using our life to produce only “leaves” or build as many “nests” as we could.  Today I want to rejoice for all the life I see in our family tree!

This girl grew three and a half inches and thirteen pounds in twelve months!  Not only has she grown physically but we have watched her rapidly mature before our eyes.  She is full of life and truly lives up to her name, Joy and Happiness.  She is sweet, silly and ticklish.  She can’t sit still if music is playing and music only plays on one volume in her world….LOUD!  She is bold, strong and vivacious.  She learned to speak English fluently in five months and now she is reading!  In this year she learned to ride a bike, to swim, eat vegetables, play in snow, hike a mountain, see the ocean, allow strangers to love her as their own and she learned to love them back.

Today My Little Fleur turns eight.  This day is one of not only celebration but of remembrance.  It is a day I remember how much God loves me, how deeply, how intimately, and how uniquely He loves each one of us.  Because you see only a month ago we celebrated our oldest daughter turning eight.  That day is also a celebration and remembering how long I labored and stayed up all night waiting for our precious baby girl to enter the world.  It’s a day we remember and laugh about all the ways and people who have helped celebrate all eight of her birthdays with us.  The birthday we celebrate today of our second oldest daughter is different and special in its own way. 

Even though she is eight today, this is only the second birthday we have gotten to hug her and wake her up singing Happy Birthday!  Only the second birthday we have had cake and watched her blow out her candles.  But what makes this birthday so special is that I’ve been singing Happy Birthday to my sweet girl on this day since she was one!  I know, I know most of you are probably completely confused and trying to do math in your head and thinking I should probably rethink homeschooling my children if I can’t figure out that eight minus one does not equal two.

Allow me to back up to January 18, 2010.  Why?  Because God tells us, “to remember how the Lord your God led you…” 

Seven years ago Kentucky Boy and I and our Little Artist lived in Kentucky.  We attended a wonderful, healthy church, that we still consider our home church.  Our pastors always began each New Year with a corporate fast.  Most of our church body participated because our leadership encouraged, taught and equipped us all to fast and go after the Lord.  During this time Kentucky Boy and I were in the process of adopting Mr. Justice but we had not been matched so we had yet to see our baby boy’s face.  All our paperwork was completed and we were waiting for a phone call saying a baby boy was waiting on us. 

Then on January 18, 2010 in the middle of our fast, I was sitting in my living room praying and reading God’s Word when I heard God tell,"Your child's birthday is today."  I felt His presence and heard those words so clearly I immediately started to cry and sing Happy Birthday to my baby.  Of course in my human wisdom, I thought I was singing to my son I was waiting to bring home.  When we went to church that same night for a prayer service I told a few of my closest friends what had happened and they can attest to my surety my son had been born!   It wasn’t until we received our son’s referral that summer and found out his birthday was in May that I began to question my wisdom. 

I was extremely confused.  My conversation with the Lord went something like this.

“God, why did you tell me the wrong day?” HA! 

“You know I look like an idiot now to all of my friends, right?"

"God I told them I heard You clearly say it was my child’s birthday!”  

“What in the world do I say to them?”  

"God, are you listening to me?"

And you know what God said?

NOTHING.  

He was silent until later.  

THREE YEARS LATER.

After bringing Mr. Justice home from Ethiopia, Kentucky Boy and I knew we would adopt again.  And we knew the next time, it would be an older child.  A child waiting.  

From the beginning we had decided two things about adopting an older child.  One, we were not going to change their name unless it was extremely hard for our American tongue to say or it meant something demonic.  And secondly, we were not going to change their birth date unless it was proven to be way off by doctors and dentists.

In February of 2013 we found our Little Fleur on a waiting children’s page and accepted her referral the next day.  We were told she was four at the time.  Four months later when we passed court and she officially became a Wilson we saw her birth certificate for the first time, which said her birthday was in May and according to the document she had just turned three. 

“Lord did I get it wrong again?” 

“Does January sound like May to You?”

And three years after He first told me January 18th was my child’s birthday He said, “You know when her birthday is because I told you.”

And yes I cried because I finally understood that three years ago I wasn't singing to my son.  I was singing to my one year old baby girl who I didn’t even know existed.

For the next almost three years, we watched her grow in pictures and videos, quietly singing her Happy Birthday on every January 18^th that passed.

Finally in December 2015 we got to bring our girl home.  Only four weeks after arriving home it was January 18th and I wanted to celebrate her birthday with the world, but I didn’t.  I hesitated.  After all she was smaller than our daughter who just turned seven.  We debated for months.  Do we keep the birth date given to her by her country’s court system, even though it’s probably a guess anyways, or do we change it, to what the Lord told me?

Over the next six months of doctor visits, trips to the dentist and her physical growth before our eyes it was confirmed she was seven, making January 18th a much more accurate estimate of her correct age than the May birth date given on her paper work.

Last year on this day we didn’t really celebrate.  We gave her a gift and had cake with close family but that was it.  All because I didn’t stand in the confidence of the Lord’s Word.  I won’t be making that same mistake this year!  Happy Birthday My Little Fleur!  I love you with all my heart!  I’ll be singing Happy Birthday on this day for as long as live.  After that I will keep singing it with Jesus.

I am so grateful for all the Lord has done this year.  When I look at My Little Fleur I am amazed at how powerful our God is.  I had a front row seat to God working out restoration in her, in myself,  in my spouse and in my children.  Thank you Jesus for taking our brokenness, our pride and selfishness, and making us into this beautiful unique family, that only exists because of Your Grace.

Whatever desert you may find yourself in today, take courage!  The Lord is with you, He is for you and even when the days seem endless and nothing around you looks like it will ever be good.  Remember this; you serve a God who delights in restoration.  He takes delight in taking the dead, barren, and dry places and making them bloom.

The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them, and the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose; It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice, Even with joy and singing.

~Isaiah 35:1-2